Space Age Crystal Growing Kit

Do you have a son named River or a daughter named Moonbeam, Sky, or Rain? Do they have a birthday coming up? You can do no better than this space age crystal growing kit from the good people at Kristal. Your liberal offspring will experience the wonders of the birth of our planet in mere days as it grows two crystal clusters, and more! Just place the included mixture in hot water heated on the stove in your VW van, and experience the wonders of creation!

*Caution: Should not be confused for that crystal deodorant replacement thing.